Her Heart
by Rianyn Suki
Summary: It's late, and raining. (Tasuki + Miaka)


Disclaimers: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi, nor any of the characters. I also don't own the lyrics to '"All Messed" up, by the Red House Painters.

Her Heart

***

The rain pattered against the thick walls like hundreds of footsteps. 

A bolt of lightening lit up the room silently, and for that instant he could see everything that lay beside him.

Sun burnt skin.

Hair that shone red in the sudden light.

Soft, parted lips.

Drool.

Tasuki shook his head lightly, a grin forming despite himself. Miaka was a weird kid. He'd realized that the moment her fist had made intimate contact with his jaw. 

Thunder shook the earth suddenly, racing through the ground and rattling the temple to it's very foundations.

Tasuki's keen gaze fell to the sleeping girl not two feet from him, but she hadn't even twitched a muscle.

He didn't know how long he'd been awake, watching her sleep. When the thunder had woken him out of the first unconscious sleep he'd had since he left the mountains it had seemed the logical end to another horrible day.

Somehow, things had gone wrong. 

Tasuki's body ached from sitting on the hard wood floor for so long. Kouji had always said pain helped one to think. If someone had taken an inventory of Tasuki's thoughts at that moment, they'd have come out with one impressive list of four - letter words.

Stretching out on the hard floor again after what felt like an age of sitting, Tasuki gave in to the uncomfortable way his head rested against the wood. Three weeks ago, he'd been lounging on his soft, well-worn cot. Each grove in the straw mattress was familiar and comfortable. His bed was just one of the things he'd taken for granted. 

Tasuki felt acutely miserable, as this sank in.

It always came back to that place, hidden within Mt. Leikaku's core.

A deep, blinding pang filled his stomach. 

__

Home. 

Tasuki had never placed any effort or faith into words. Words lied, and distorted the truth; caused bloody wars and suffering. 

But as he sat surrounded by strangers in a foreign region, one word kept him from slipping into the worst depression he'd even known. 

He was so far from anything familiar.

Closing his eyes, Tasuki decided to try something that the monk had told him helped ease anxiety. 

Probing past the raw, gnawing ache for the mountains, Tasuki concentrated hard on just breathing. 

__

Just breathe. 

The temple smelled of burnt incense, and wet wood. 

__

Don't think. Let everything slip away …

The silence was deafening. Had the rain stopped finally? Tasuki gritted his teeth. 

__

What part of 'don't think' do you not understand??

He reprimanded himself. 

__

Who cares about the damn rain!? Now shut up, and find some inner harmony.

Eyes still closed, Tasuki resisted the urge to wander out into the night, and find someone who could offer him a dangerously stiff drink. 

__

Concentrate, idiot. 

Before he could stop himself from wondering if all inner voices were this abusive, a strange thing happened. 

Something soft, and barely audible reached his numb ears. 

__

Thump. Thump. 

Not knowing why, but not questioning it either, Tasuki let himself float against this new sound.

His breathing evened. He no longer had to force his eyes shut. 

The sharp bite that followed his memories of home lost it's edge.

He was floating. 

Somewhere between the ground, and the place where he always went when he dreamt, Tasuki realized he was not listening to his own deep breaths, his own heart beat- but someone else's.

Before he could think on it any further, a delicious calm washed over his body, pulling him down with heavy hands into sleep.

But before he gave in fully to the comfort, his ears strained once more to hear the light sigh that she gave in the dark. 

__

Thump …thump…

Slow, steady, true. 

Miaka slept.

Tasuki dreamed.

***

'She shadows me in the mirror 

She never leaves on the light 

And some things that I've said to her, they just don't seem to bite 

It's all mixed up 

She tricks me into thinking that I cant believe my eyes 

That I wait for her forever but she never does arrive.' 

- Red House Painters 

A/N : It's 2:12 am. Can't sleep. Hope you liked! Thinking in short. Sentences. O.o;; What do you think? Haven't written in a while. Must. Sleep. Now. ^_^


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